How good editing improves writing
Consider the following extract:
It was shortly after midday by the time we got to the airport the traffic having been terrible all the way. We went straight to the check-in desk after parking the car in the short-term car park even though we were going to be away for two weeks. But we were afraid that going to the long term car park would take too long because we had to take a bus to get there.
It turned out that the flight was delayed and that we could have parked in the long term car park after all. Simon even considered going back and moving the car but we didn't want to push our luck and decided to go ahead and check in instead.
We asked for and got two aisle seats next to each other as neither of us wanted to be either at the window or definitely not stuck in the middle.
Flying outside of Europe we were able to go to the Duty Free and stock up on some stuff for the long haul trip. We also got the dreaded Benson & Hedges for Rog even though he always says he is giving up.
As it turned out the flight was nearly half empty so there was a lot of seats free and we could of had as many seats as we liked.
Looking out of the window the Alps came into view but most people seemed disinterested in the view. It was only then the drinks trollie came round that they were awoken out of their slumber. Four hours later we landed and the holiday proper begun. Hopefully we will have a good time.
Not a bad piece; it is understandable and not in need of any major revision. However, it could be improved and the grammatical mistakes removed, while keeping the writer's sense of experience intact.
This is called "tightening up", and will form an early part of the course. One might also call it " a second eye". In fact, we will start the day with this piece and that will serve also as an introduction to other elements on the course.
It might be useful to read it again if you are considering coming on the course. The course is very much about improving your writing, so that it reads easily. That often means subtle changes, but they can have a considerable effect.
Here's how the piece might look after a bit of tightening-up:
We got to the airport just after midday because the traffic was terrible. We parked in short term even though we would be gone two weeks, but the long-term car park was too far away.
The flight was delayed and we could have parked in the long term after all. Simon considered moving the car but we didn't want to push our luck and checked in instead.
We got two aisle seats next to each other as neither of us wanted the window or the middle.
We went to the Duty Free and stocked up on some stuff for the long haul trip. We also got the dreaded Benson & Hedges for Rog even though he always says he is giving up.
The flight was half empty and we could have had as many seats as we liked.
Looking out of the window, we saw the Alps came, but most people seemed uninterested. It was only when the drinks trolly came round that they stirred. Four hours later, we landed and the holiday proper began. We hope we will have a good time.
Compare the two pieces: the second, revised version, is a bit shorter, because it has tightened up the words, without omitting the sense or flavour of the original. On closer reading, you may spot some subtle changes to the grammar and the syntax, which we will talk about on the course.
Copyright, 2002